I Want to Have Sex With a New Man—but He Won’t Tell Me His Name. I Can’t Tell If That’s a Problem.

How to Do It July 31, 202612:00 PM Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Aleksandr Pykhteev/Getty Images Plus. Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years—so we’re diving into the How to Do It archives to share classic letters with our readers. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. (It’s anonymous!) Dear How to Do It, After 10-plus years in a monogamous, mostly stale marriage, I (a 42-year-old woman) am separated and hoping to have amazing sex again. For me, that means returning to the kinky, D/s sex I used to enjoy. I’m not looking to date or have casual sex with vanilla partners. Recently, I’ve been chatting with a dominant man I met on a kink site, and we’d like to get together in-person. We have had frank discussions about expectations, limits, and mutual respect.