I Finally Learned How to Do Something Very Exciting in Bed. It Feels Like a Luxury I Need to Earn.

How to Do It July 22, 202612:00 PM Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Ridofranz/Getty Images Plus. Sign up for the Slatest to get the most insightful analysis, criticism, and advice out there, delivered to your inbox daily. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here. It’s anonymous! Dear How to Do It, I’m a cis queer woman, and I didn’t discover how to masturbate until I was 20. I wasn’t uninterested; I just didn’t really know enough about my body, and maybe some compulsory heterosexuality came into play. Once I did, it was—as you can imagine—very exciting, and I happily masturbated regularly, with the logic that I was making up for lost time. I like to do it once a day for stress relief, but sometimes I forget or am too tired, and throw