Golf is a boring sport – and it makes for boring TV

Photo via Netflix The first fallacy of golfing comedy The Hawk, at least to my golfingly ignorant eye, came in the opening episode, with the depiction of a professional golfer enduring a high-intensity workout. Strapped in an exercise bike, with a breathing mask and various medical patches monitoring heart and oxygen – this is the kind of regimen I expect of true athletes, of Jude Bellingham or Simone Biles. But golf? Paunchy, retiree, gin-in-the-clubhouse golf? I understand that there’s a technical element to the thing, a question of sight and swing, and I suppose competitive players must have strength enough to hit that tiny ball the necessary distances. But when they’ve hit the ball, what happens? I know because, waylaid from a pleasant country footpath by some golf course bypass, I’ve